"Sweet Swine County - Where Businesses are never Boarin'!
"Our businesses cater to those who just don’t know any better!"
"KLUK TV: Broadcasting the Thrills of Everywhere Else but Sweet Swine County!"
KLUK TV, based in the bustling town of Split Hoof, has reigned supreme over the airwaves of Sweet Swine County for years. With absolutely nothing happening in their own county, the station has ingeniously pivoted to covering the more action-packed antics of neighboring counties. From riveting reports on “The Great Pumpkin Festival” next door to dramatic reenactments of the "Mild-Mannered Chicken Crossing," KLUK TV keeps viewers on the edge of their seats—because who wouldn’t want to know how the other counties are living the excitement?
"The Daily Boar: Sweet Swine County’s News Hub—Just Don’t Ask Mrs. Swanson!"
The Daily Boar a sometimes daily newspaper reports all the news that the residents of Sweet Swine County want to know! Distributed to all but one (Mrs. Swanson) of the 163 people who live in the county. (She once received a bad review in it for her Cream of Mushroom Jello Delight hot-dish recipe!)
"Pokey Pig Delivery Service: Fast Deliveries… Just Not Since 1977!"
Pokey Pig Delivery Service opened for business in spring of 1976 to fill the need for ANYTHING that needs to be delivered fast in the the greater Sweet Swine County area! Management shared with Sweet Swine Scoop "We have fallen a bit behind because of the bicentennial therefore no delivery have been made since 1977.
"Plowing Through Life: Elmer’s New Venture in Horse Fly"
Sweet Swine County's Elmer Plow opened a business in the town of Horse Fly called “Plowing Through Life / Clinic”. Elmer who completed a three week course at Purdoo University called “So you think you can be a Life Coach” told Sweet Swine Scoop “I realized my safe style of living has not served me very well and that I needed to toughen up. Now life is good, I live on the edge and take no guff from anyone, there’s a new Plow in town!
"Pig in a Poke Studio: Where The Lip-Synchers Make Music (Without the Singing)!"
Pig in a Poke Recording Studio was founded by none other than Buster Jones, affectionately known as The Big Porker—the mastermind behind Sweet Swine County's most successful band, The Lip-Synchers! With a name like that, you know you're in for a wild ride. Buster created the studio to help aspiring musicians find their voice—while he and his bandmates perfected the art of lip-syncing like true pros. After all, why worry about hitting the right notes when you can just look fabulous while pretending? So whether you’re laying down tracks or just trying to find the perfect rhythm for your next bacon-themed ballad, Pig in a Poke has got you covered!
"Clem's Feed Store: The Go-To Hub for Feed and Flicks in Sweet Swine County!"
Clem's Feed Store is the talk of the county and it should be for it's the most successful retail store in Sweet Swine County! KLUK's TV talk show The Cocklebur Morning Show shared with their audience that Clem put a movie theater that seats nine in the back room of his feed store enabling citizens from throughout Sweet Swine County to see the latest movies by Ma & Pa Kettle.
"Sweet Swine’s Sole Saloon: Open for Business—When the Prairie Dogs Score!"
The only bar in Sweet Swine County was opened by some pig in the town of Cow Pie Ridge spring of 2009. Hours posted on the door state they are only open after a winning game by the "Flat Land Prairie Dogs“ Flat Land High Schools sometimes-winning horseshoe team.
"Escape Sweet Swine: The Bus Company That Got Everyone Moving"
Established in 1984 "Escape Sweet Swine Bus Company" immediately became the most successful business in Sweet Swine county because of large number of citizens looking for a way out of Sweet Swine! Spring of 2019 the popular bus company not only adding an additional bus, but offering group discounts!
"Swine Tails Publications: From Plat Books to Page-Turners – Sweet Swine’s Scandalous New Chapter!"
Swine Tails Publications, once the go-to publisher for county maps and plat books, has undergone a dramatic makeover! Now, it’s the hotbed for authors across Sweet Swine County eager to shock their fellow citizens with sensational tell-all books. Forget the scenic routes—these writers are all about scandalous stories! From exposés on the secret lives of the local livestock to juicy gossip about Aunt Ella's infamous pie recipe, Swine Tails is where the real drama unfolds. Who needs GPS when you can navigate the twists and turns of the county’s juiciest secrets? Grab your popcorn, folks—these page-turners are sure to keep you entertained (and maybe a bit scandalized)!
"Sweet Swine Scoop: Your Inside Look at the Scandals of Sweet Swine County—Get It at Clem's!"
If you want to learn about life inside the county of Sweet Swine you just need to pick up a issue of "Sweet Swine Scoop" at Clem's Feed Store! With stories (some say gossip) provided by this magazine you will learn about the seedy side of the life in a county no one ever heard of. Cousin John who won the prestigious magazine in a card game was quoted as saying "If you can't make it to Clem Feed Store that doesn't mean you shouldn't buy my magazine, read all the stories here, then send me a check!"
"Buzzing Trouble: Horse Fly's Favorite Watering Hole Temporarily Closed!"
This beloved watering hole in Horse Fly is currently closed—management is on the hunt for a flyswatter! Rumor has it the place was overrun with winged intruders, and until they can reclaim their territory, patrons will have to wait for the buzz to settle down!
"Cluck 'n' Pluck: Supporting High Horse's Night Owls"
Hamhock Hollow's premier business, The Cluck 'n' Pluck, provides all 9 citizens from the village of High Horse jobs on their night shift. Cluck 'n' Pluck owner & High Horse town councilman John Robert Olson requests that all day-shift employees use County Bypass Road #13 to skirt around High Horse so that his night-shift employees who live there can get some decent day-time sleep.
"It Will Be Gone Saving & Loan: Sweet Swine’s Most Mobile Bank – Here Today, Gone Tomorrow!"
The "It Will Be Gone Saving & Loan" rolled into the town of Hamhock in the spring of 2012, and they hit the ground running—immediately opening savings accounts faster than you can say "financial stability!" However, Sweet Swine County's tabloid, Sweet Swine Scoop, reported that the bank has had a bit of trouble finding a permanent location. Apparently, the only thing more elusive than their office space is a pig that doesn’t want to be part of the county fair!
A spokesperson for the bank cheerfully declared, "We love Sweet Swine County and believe our plans will be long remembered!" Which, given their track record, might be more about their temporary signs than their actual buildings. But hey, at least their enthusiasm is as steadfast as a pig in mud! Who knows? Maybe they'll find a permanent home before they open a branch in the next county over!
"Mrs. Swanson’s Sweets & Eats: Hotdish Rivalries and Swedish Delights Since 1976!"
Mrs. Swanson opened the very successful catering business, Mrs. Swanson’s Sweets &Eats in spring of 1976. She specializes in Swedish dishes, pies and candies, however recently she announced the addition three new hotdishes to the menu. In an interview with The Daily Boar, Mrs. Swanson said, "That hoity-toity Betty Thompson ("Cookin' It Up With Betty" TV host) will never be able to compete with my green-bean-kumquat-marshmellow hotdish, no matter what she thinks!"
"Cluckin' Good Tunes: Sweet Swine's Only Radio Station Rocks from a Chicken Coop!"
Located in a chicken coop inside Cousin John's The Cluck 'n' Pluck (a chicken plucking business) Sweet Swine's only radio station plays ROCK music from artists as diverse as Barry Manilow, Debby Boone and the The Cowsills!